A rekindling of friends!

Several weeks ago I was in Croton, NY (upstate)  for a reunion with high school friends.  This trip was planned months ago and I immediately responded “yes” with folks I have not seen in 30+ years!  On my way to the “gathering”  I was filled with excitement and anxiousness.  My mind was infiltrated with “what if’s and questions.  Meeting for the first time in years it felt a little awkward and became very comfortable as memories flooded in  of the past.

There is something to be said about rekindling relationships from long ago and what I refer to as the formative years.  When I say reformative years I am referring to “teenage years.”  As anyone knows “teenage” years can be tumultuous.  For me “I felt like I never fit it.”   Fast forward:  Yes, the “teenager self” still resides within me and she has learned to laugh and not take things as serious.  I’ve learned and continue to learn to be honest, authentic and vulnerable.  I say “thank you” to this teenager’s heart and what she has learned about herself over the years.

It was a wonderful experience of “catching up with one another and getting to know each other again.  It did not take long to bond and find that familiarity with one another.  Someone once said to me we are more alike than different.  I believe that statement to be true.  It is through our humanity that we find love.  We all feel hurt, sadness, and pain and yet it is through this we discover joy, happiness and fulfillment.

A song comes to mind of our time together in Croton, NY.   “Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down a road and back again.  Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant.

I love you and thank you for loving me…         your friend,  Anne

 

 

Midlife and Re-writing the script!

What do you want out of life? I have asked myself this question over the past several months.  I am 50 Plus and I am in the midst of re-writing my script.  Actually, I feel more alive than I ever have.  For years I have had the belief that I never deserved what I truly desired or that I could not have it.  Belief systems are deeply ingrained but one has to challenge their beliefs or find a solution to a perceived problem.

In the past I have wrecked my head over what is it that i wanted. .  A friend suggested that I write out my smallest to biggest desires and feel into it.  I did that and still no breakthrough until now…  I discovered it has nothing to do with accomplishments, projects or achievements.  My desire is to be in the moment, have fun, share love and when I do that everything else will flow and through me.

I want you to know it is never to late to re-write your script and do what gives you joy.  When you are in joy ~ your body relaxes and your health and appearance improves along with your state of mind.  You and I owe this to ourself.  We deserve to nurture ourselves in this way.  Now is the time!

Life Is a Blessing & Here is Why?

I am the person today because of my past:

Yes, it has been hard, scary, downright terrifying and in between.  but… I would not be the person I am today because of it.

There has been up’s and down’s, left turns and right turns and in between’s but… I am the person today because of it.

There has been stormy, cloudy and bright ski’s  but… I am the person today because of it

There has been earaches, heartaches and tooth aches but… I am the person today because of it.

There has been miracles,  blessings and second guessing but… I am the person today because of it.

There has been night fall and snow fall and fall fall fall but… I am the person today because of it.

There has been children, boredom and conundrum but… I am the person today because of it.

There has been breakthroughs, breakdowns and weepy eyes  but…I am the person today because of it.

There has been pain and sorrow that could not wait for the morrow  but… I am the person today because of it.

I am a speck of the divine and so are you so live it full out and live it for you!

 

 

 

 

 

What do you want? 11 Steps to get there!!!

  1.  Write out you future vision but don’t get lost in the big picture.  Focus on implementing baby steps every day in the direction of your dreams.  Remember you have ideas of how you want to achieve it but ideas can change day to day.
  2.   Let go of comparison.  You are unique and a contributor.  Your history/story is unique to you.  Nobody has it all figured out like we imagine they do.
  3. “Winning” is doing your own thing.
  4. Don’t sit on your decisions, make a decision!  You cannot make a wrong decision
  5. Don’t be afraid to make a mistake.
  6. Look for the opportunities when faced  with “adversity.”  Put your attention on what your gaining rather than what you are losing.
  7. When you feel “direction less”  ~ Talk to someone who will point you in the right direction.
  8. If you cannot make a decision right away don’t pretend it does not exist.  Give yourself permission to come back to it but don’t wait too long.
  9. Communication is important.
  10. Don’t look back of how’s it’s been.  Reframe it of how you want it to be.
  11. Self approval comes from within you!

Self Inquiry

Self inquiry is not for the faint of heart.  It takes “guts” to look at your self or unconscious patterns.  Actually when you do this it is not as bad as it seems and it is relieving to know whats confronting you.   For example, today I noticed I  was in a space of  “self-Pity.”   A wise friend once said “Pity the fear” and take your magic wand like Harry Potter and swoosh it away.   It worked for me because I tend to be pretty serious about life and I needed to use my imagination more.

I am practicing not looking back at my seemingly past mistakes and regrets.  This has only kept me feeling trapped and unworthy.  hmmm.  I wonder if this is part of the self-pity piece!  We have millions of thoughts daily and the trick is not to buy into them as if they are true.  The only power you have is in the moment and if you are distracted slow down, breathe and notice what is happening now!

Notice the stories you tell yourself.  Stories are a waste of time and energy ~  bring your attention back to this moment.  If you get caught up in the story line ~  Ask yourself  “Is this the truth?”  Stories are lies we tell ourselves!  Observing the story line knowing it’s not true is also helpful.   Never beat yourself up or try to fix it ~ remember you are not broken.  If you become fearful let it move through your body.  FYI:  A thought cannot be fixed.  Sometimes it can seemingly have emotional power over you.  You can journal to get the thoughts or emotions on paper and out of your head.

You are your own Guru.  You know what is best for you!  My mother used to always say “What is good for you may not be good for someone else.”  Trust this!

Don’t do what everyone else wants you to do.. Do what you want!  Own your potential and perfection.  If not now than when!

“Self Honesty” requires courage!

Self Honesty is decisive action.  It is ferociousness!  It is putting energy into motion.   It is the best decision I have ever made for myself due to the fact I have been a “people pleaser” my entire life.  It involves being honest with relationships, communication, eating, and doing what is right and necessary for your life.  It is saying “no” when you want to say “yes” for the sake of not creating conflict and saying “Yes” to situations and things that you know serve your well-being.  I have found when I am caught in the scrutiny of making a decision I just don’t make one.  Don’t do things for “acceptance” sake.

Self Honesty builds self-esteem and self-worth.  It requires courage and determination.  At least that is what is on my list of ingredients.  Don’t beat yourself up because you set up “boundaries” in your relationships, especially when it comes to family members.  I believe people will always respect you and if they don’t than it is their problem not yours.  It’s like spring cleaning maybe you need to “spring clean” your friends.  Keep the ones who honor, respect and accept you for who you are.  Doing this for yourself is an act of “kindness” and love.

Be your own best friend, it does not matter what “others” think, it only matters what you believe and think.  What “lights” you up and what makes your heart “sing”.  So go now and show the world what your made of… they have been waiting for you.

How I changed through Vibrational Transformation

What is Transformation Vibration?  A wise person once said (Panache Desai)
“when you change your energy you change your life.”  He refers to himself as a vibrational catalyst.

I have had the privilege to work with him over the course of the past 5 years.  He has helped me transform my “dense” or heavy energy.  This is done through the process of embracing your sadness, fear and anger.  We are taught from an early age on that it is not Okay to feel our feelings.   When we suppress these emotions we literally feel “weighed” down.

When I am in Panaches presence my supppressed feelings rise to the surface and past memories surface and hence my feelings come to life.  such as anger, sadness, pain etc.  I have learned so much about myself over this 5 year period.  This has not been easy by any means….

BENEFITS: 1. Opening my heart (I had no idea I had a closed heart until I met Panache).  2. Being honest with myself. 3.  Overcoming adversity. 4. Less afraid of being judged. 5. Speaking and standing up for myself. 6. Embracing life and much more.

When vibrational transformation happens you get to the covered spaces within you and the love and light do it’s work on your behalf.  It opens up dark corners and the light shines forth. I have noticed that I  have abandoned myself for the sake of putting other people before my own needs.  I had to learn to pull myself in to connect to myself instead of the outside world.  More or less I was giving my power away.  I had to look at “my so called flaws.”

To this day I still don’t like my anger, resentments, jealousy but I am discovering that this is part of our human nature and when we can learn to embrace this instead of “negating” it energy opens up for us in a whole new way.   Love is inclusive ~ the good, bad and ugly.  Remember this next time when you may perceive a not so nice feeling arise!  Don’t settle and don’t sell yourself short.

How a “Boating” accident impacted my family!

I was in an boating accident on the weekend of July 4th, 2017.  In my wildest dreams I never thought this would happen to me, worse yet my entire family (except my son).  My children are in their 20’s.  Intuition is powerful ~ When I stepped on the boat I had a feeling to not go on the boat ride but my stubbornness overrode this feeling.

We came upon a boat that needed towing.   I immediately said “yes” which is not like me.  I sat at the tip of the boat with 2 of Megan’s (my daughter) friends.  We threw a line to the boat and it was probably 3 minutes into the tow when myself and the 2 other gals had a premonition something was about to happen!  …and out of the blue “my husband says they are going to hit us.”  I looked up and saw a boat headed straight towards us.  No time to think or do anything.  They hit the right side of our boat where my husband was driving and ripped out the right side of our boat.  Thankfully we all survived.

We stood there in disarray for a moment and it was completely quite.  The windshield on the right and left side of the boat was shattered in very small pieces and my thought was.  .. oh know someone died! I began to panic as I saw blood on myself and some of the others.  My eyes were open but I did not want to see.   I did a head check and everyone was accounted for.    I saw Megan’s friend crying and she wanted to get out of the boat.  Yep, I felt responsible for everyone!  Always a mother!  I was scared due to the fact I did not know if someone got injured very badly.  Everyone was scared, in shock and crying, even my husband who never shows his feelings.  I was confused because the boat that hit us stayed at bay and did not even offer to help.  Eventually someone did come to help and got the girls who were crying off the boat and towed us into land.  Grateful there was no injures to the boat we were towing but one quick look I could see that they were also in shock.

When I arrived on land I was very grateful and was relieved I was no longer on the boat. From what I saw everyone had that feeling!  I felt powerless due to the fact I saw my daughter crying and some of her friends.  I felt sad that we had this experience.  What I noticed within myself is that I could not form a sentence.  I did this for a few days.  Fear, and anger was my best friend.  It was hard to comprehend what had happened.

Several of us went to the hospital and everything was okay.  What kept going through my mind was how precious life is and it could be gone in an instant!  I also realized none of us were meant to die.

On the way back to my Lake House I was scared that we were going to get in a car accident and my daughter’s felt like that too.  When I arrived back to the house we were humbled, frightened and grateful for this experience.   It’s been 6 months and yesterday I finally (6 months later)  I went to the Lake House and I was glad I did cuz I cried and cried the fears and emotions of what had happened came barreling in.  I had no idea of the amount of fear I carried around with me for 6 months.  that I had that was crippling me until I came face to fa

 

 

What’s The Rush?

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This time of year can be overwhelming ~ family gatherings, parties, work, consumerism, I think you know what I mean.  But does it need to be like this?  I believe we do not need to rush.  For example, New Years Eve is a week away and most people are already focusing on that day.  Food for Thought:  When you find yourself thinking about the future bring yourself back to the moment over and over again.  Here are a few things which have helped me~

1.  Whatever is swimming around in your head put it down on paper.  If you think it, Ink it!

2.  Notice your thoughts and realize they are just thoughts passing through your mind, don’t try to change them or discard them.

3.  Laugh at yourself and others.

4.  Time is an illusion ~ whatever you are doing is what your meant to be doing.  It is not right or wrong.

5.  99% of the time your thoughts do not come to fruition.

6.  Remind yourself that your health and well-being come first and nothing is thatimportant to get bent out of shape about.

7.  Stop, slow down and breathe

8.  Ask yourself “Why am I rushing.”

9.  Let go of the outcome.

None of us has it down pat and by golly I am glad about this.

Why not enjoy the moment no matter what is happening.  There is no right or wrong, it is happening the way that it is so we might as well make it our friend.    I think I rather be floundering than having all my ducks in a row!   The planet will not blow up or your favorite grocery store will not burn down.  FYI:  Walking to the grocery store is just as important as walking to the gym or walking o a party.  Every moment of our lives is important no matter what it is we are doing, even if that means scrubbing the floor.   There is no rush and there is no getting anywhere .  You are already meant to be where you are!

13 Steps to Empowerment

This is my empowerment steps.  I thought maybe writing about it would be most beneficial.  Anne’s Yoga sutra. hehe

1.  Notice the resistance

2.  Stray away from fixing, healing.  Just Be

3.  Move forward and trust everything is working out perfectly and there is a divine intelligence

4.  Everyone is on our side.  Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

5.  Gently move forward and we are more alike than different.

6.  See the good or “god” in everyone we meet.

7.  When you or I feel “triggered”  meet myself, yourself with gentle loving compassion.  Tap into intuition.  True intuition has no emotional charge.

8.  Know that everything you are experiencing is “okay”.

9.  Keep a journal for your progress. Look at it every several months to remind yourself of how far you have come.

10.  When you are faced with pain in the body.  Know there is an answer.  Help comes in unimaginable ways ~ health profession, a conversation you overheard, friends, family or in a dream.    Care for the body with whatever remedy is needed.

11.  Lessen your “seriousness”.  Laugh even if it is fake.  Laughing is contagious and it is a healing balm not only for yourself but those around you.

12.  Notice the “lies” we can tell ourselves.

13.  Stray away from drama.