How to Bring Love to the Pain Body

I have resisted “what is” all of my life thinking what I had experienced was bad or “ugly”.  This only created shame, doubt, guilt and pain.  Until one day I woke up and realized everything I had been resisting was a message or my guidance.  One would never think guidance would come in this form.  I was keeping self love at a distance wishing it would  go away.

I decided to go within and look at those parts I deemed unworthy or neglected.   I discovered my incessant negative self-talk, and ongoing stories of the past.  This can be destructive.  I was creating unnessary pain in my life in which I would call the “pain body.”   This layer of pain is very much alive but has softened over time.  What helped me soften the pain was naming the thoughts that arose, i.e. past, story , lies etc.   I certainly was not at a point of loving what arises but naming these part of myself was an act of self-love.  Recognizing it for what it was helped me to lighten up and let go.

The Emotional Body plays a huge part of the “pain body.”  I discovered when the emotional body is neglected depression and hopelessness seeps in.  Sharing my feelings was not a part of my family structure.   I was taught to move forward and keep my mouth shut.  As a result I formed a pattern of putting other peoples needs ahead of my own.   This pattern can be changed!

What I discovered about the Emotional Body:

Go within and see what is there.  ie.  sadness, fear, shame, neglect, anger.  Allow, accept and feel into it.  You won’t die.  You will open up to parts of yourself you have put aside for years.  Give yourself permission to experience this.  Deal with what is right in front of you.  I was yearning for self – love, gratitude, presence and acceptance but the only way i could do this was to go within and give to myself first.

Acceptance is the Key to Forgiveness

When we accept ourselves no matter what grievance we hold against ourselves forgiveness  happens.  Forgiveness includes perceived past wrongdoings or anything we hold ourselves hostage to.  I have found this has been the biggest offering I have given myself.  When I accept blame and shame drops away.  Love enters this space.    Maybe this is the kingdom of heaven.  Stories we tell ourselves are no longer relevant.  Inner peace and harmony is restored and life does not seem difficult.  IMG_2343.JPG

Many words can describe acceptance.  Allowing, being with what is, loving what arises, appreciation and letting go.  It may also include to stop, slow down and breathe.  This will bring you in the present moment and you may be surprised what may arise.  Maybe it is an emotion that you distracted yourself from feeling.  If we all took the time to breathe, relax and allow just imagine what kind of world we would have.


Grief is synonyms with regret?  This is what I found in my research – a sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone.  A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes to be different.

We all have regrets, should have, could have, maybe a do-over.  Being in the present moment is all we ever have but one can remain stuck in the pas or the future robbing us of what is happening NOW.  For example I can still be playing out a scenario that happened 30 years ago.  Maybe being pissed off to this day of what occurred and has nothing to do with what is happening in this moment but the “sting” remains.  The key is to acknowledge the regret and feel into the underlying energy.  It could be anger, rage, fear or sadness that has never been embraced for what it was at the time.  These are human emotions and as human beings we tend to cover them up and or suppress them but nevertheless they remain stuck in our bodies taking on a life of their own.  This is turn can create density.  We all have our stories and what we want to do is to embrace our feelings in any given moment without negating or suppressing them.  This is as important as washing are hands.  We have been taught to believe anger and sadness is bad when in reality it is a blessing.  This is what connects us and it is an opportunity for the divine to embrace us.  When we begin to feel all there is to feel and embrace our humanity life unfolds in a miraculous way.  We are found through are humanity.  This is where love and compassion can be found.

Posted on by Anne Lamantia