How a “Boating” accident impacted my family!

I was in an boating accident on the weekend of July 4th, 2017.  In my wildest dreams I never thought this would happen to me, worse yet my entire family (except my son).  My children are in their 20’s.  Intuition is powerful ~ When I stepped on the boat I had a feeling to not go on the boat ride but my stubbornness overrode this feeling.

We came upon a boat that needed towing.   I immediately said “yes” which is not like me.  I sat at the tip of the boat with 2 of Megan’s (my daughter) friends.  We threw a line to the boat and it was probably 3 minutes into the tow when myself and the 2 other gals had a premonition something was about to happen!  …and out of the blue “my husband says they are going to hit us.”  I looked up and saw a boat headed straight towards us.  No time to think or do anything.  They hit the right side of our boat where my husband was driving and ripped out the right side of our boat.  Thankfully we all survived.

We stood there in disarray for a moment and it was completely quite.  The windshield on the right and left side of the boat was shattered in very small pieces and my thought was.  .. oh know someone died! I began to panic as I saw blood on myself and some of the others.  My eyes were open but I did not want to see.   I did a head check and everyone was accounted for.    I saw Megan’s friend crying and she wanted to get out of the boat.  Yep, I felt responsible for everyone!  Always a mother!  I was scared due to the fact I did not know if someone got injured very badly.  Everyone was scared, in shock and crying, even my husband who never shows his feelings.  I was confused because the boat that hit us stayed at bay and did not even offer to help.  Eventually someone did come to help and got the girls who were crying off the boat and towed us into land.  Grateful there was no injures to the boat we were towing but one quick look I could see that they were also in shock.

When I arrived on land I was very grateful and was relieved I was no longer on the boat. From what I saw everyone had that feeling!  I felt powerless due to the fact I saw my daughter crying and some of her friends.  I felt sad that we had this experience.  What I noticed within myself is that I could not form a sentence.  I did this for a few days.  Fear, and anger was my best friend.  It was hard to comprehend what had happened.

Several of us went to the hospital and everything was okay.  What kept going through my mind was how precious life is and it could be gone in an instant!  I also realized none of us were meant to die.

On the way back to my Lake House I was scared that we were going to get in a car accident and my daughter’s felt like that too.  When I arrived back to the house we were humbled, frightened and grateful for this experience.   It’s been 6 months and yesterday I finally (6 months later)  I went to the Lake House and I was glad I did cuz I cried and cried the fears and emotions of what had happened came barreling in.  I had no idea of the amount of fear I carried around with me for 6 months.  that I had that was crippling me until I came face to fa

 

 

Acceptance is the Key to Forgiveness

When we accept ourselves no matter what grievance we hold against ourselves forgiveness  happens.  Forgiveness includes perceived past wrongdoings or anything we hold ourselves hostage to.  I have found this has been the biggest offering I have given myself.  When I accept blame and shame drops away.  Love enters this space.    Maybe this is the kingdom of heaven.  Stories we tell ourselves are no longer relevant.  Inner peace and harmony is restored and life does not seem difficult.  IMG_2343.JPG

Many words can describe acceptance.  Allowing, being with what is, loving what arises, appreciation and letting go.  It may also include to stop, slow down and breathe.  This will bring you in the present moment and you may be surprised what may arise.  Maybe it is an emotion that you distracted yourself from feeling.  If we all took the time to breathe, relax and allow just imagine what kind of world we would have.

What is Body/Mind Integration?

starts-with-youI truly believe I am beginning to understand the meaning of “Body/Mind” Integration. Being peaceful & grateful is essential in my daily living circumstances.  It has been a gradual process.  Let me explain:

You may ask what got me to this place?  Commitment, letting go of drama, and noticing how I respond to triggers.

Letting go of drama involves allowing life to play out without getting involved in other peoples situations and at the same time being a good listener.  We as human beings “feel” better when we seemingly fix other peoples problems.  I know that I do not want anyone to fix me or tell me what is best.  Letting go of drama also includes letting go of our stories, ie. past hurts, regrets and gossip.  To notice what you are noticing without judgement.

Triggers:  We all get triggered by events and situations.  It’s important to notice when one blames another for a perceived misfortune.  This is what I experience when I have been triggered.  1. Somatic response to a situation, i.e.. gut feeling or feeling heavy.  Most of the time it is a emotional response to a situation such as hurt, anger, sadness, and fear.  Integration occurs when one allows the emotion to surface through completion.  The key is to notice the emotion as best as you can without judgement, and breathe and allow.   Sometimes a memory will “trigger” an emotion. When this happens I immediately try to micromanage it which only creates frustration.  I have also “distracted myself” from feeling. i.e. going to the fridge, stifling it etc.  Most of the time it has nothing to do with what is happening in the moment.

An opening occurs when we allow the emotions to cascade through our bodies.  The more I STOP, SLOW DOWN and BREATHE without judging myself the more grace and ease I feel.  Remember ~ not to take yourself seriously.  Run towards yourself not away from yourself.  Someone once told me being “uncomfortable” is your greatest teacher.  If you feel scared or unsafe do what is necessary.  It can be scary in the beginning especially if your not used to it.  Call a friend, go for a walk.  Triggers are fantastic and it is a gateway to one’s evolution.  So trigger away!

Posted on May 7, 2016 by Anne Lamantia

Nourishment for the Body, Mind and Soul

Nourishment is not just about what we eat but it also includes how we go about nourishing our “wholeness.”   One aspect which comes to mind for me is “self talk”.  For me it is about nourishing the soul.  The aspects of ourselves that may feel scared, helpless or alone.  I believe these parts of ourselves are little “orphans” which had an impact on us in childhood.  I am recalling an experience when I was 10 years old.  I grew up in a world where I felt judged,  I had no direction, support, and a lack of kindness.  This was very scary for me.  I had to keep a stiff upper lip.  I can see how it is playing out in my life today.  I am learning  to dialogue with myself in a more compassionate and loving way.  Bringing kindness, understanding and love to the forefront.

When I dialogue with this 10 year-old I take her by the hand and let her know everything is going to be okay, that she is not alone.  I treat her like I would have treated my 10 year-old children letting them know that they are not alone and everything will be okay.  I use kind words, listen without judging and trust my wisdom and clarity in my ripe age of 50.  Of course we need nourishment through food but take a look at how you dialogue with those “scared’” parts of yourself.  Do you take the time to nourish your emotional body?

Expressing your needs and getting  your feelings out of your body.  Writing and expressing my thoughts have been helpful.  Do you take the time to nourish your physical body?  Take note of your eating patterns, exercise, self-care such as massage, energy work or getting out in nature.

Last but not least what do you feed your soul?  What brings you joy, are you using your creativity?  It is simple ~ take a look outside and you will see what I mean.  From my perspective healing begins by acknowledging how we reacted to trauma in the first place and the next step is to let yourself know it is safe to feel and express.  If it feels “unsafe” do it anyways.  As you do this you will begin to trust.

Posted on by Anne Lamantia