How a “Boating” accident impacted my family!

I was in an boating accident on the weekend of July 4th, 2017.  In my wildest dreams I never thought this would happen to me, worse yet my entire family (except my son).  My children are in their 20’s.  Intuition is powerful ~ When I stepped on the boat I had a feeling to not go on the boat ride but my stubbornness overrode this feeling.

We came upon a boat that needed towing.   I immediately said “yes” which is not like me.  I sat at the tip of the boat with 2 of Megan’s (my daughter) friends.  We threw a line to the boat and it was probably 3 minutes into the tow when myself and the 2 other gals had a premonition something was about to happen!  …and out of the blue “my husband says they are going to hit us.”  I looked up and saw a boat headed straight towards us.  No time to think or do anything.  They hit the right side of our boat where my husband was driving and ripped out the right side of our boat.  Thankfully we all survived.

We stood there in disarray for a moment and it was completely quite.  The windshield on the right and left side of the boat was shattered in very small pieces and my thought was.  .. oh know someone died! I began to panic as I saw blood on myself and some of the others.  My eyes were open but I did not want to see.   I did a head check and everyone was accounted for.    I saw Megan’s friend crying and she wanted to get out of the boat.  Yep, I felt responsible for everyone!  Always a mother!  I was scared due to the fact I did not know if someone got injured very badly.  Everyone was scared, in shock and crying, even my husband who never shows his feelings.  I was confused because the boat that hit us stayed at bay and did not even offer to help.  Eventually someone did come to help and got the girls who were crying off the boat and towed us into land.  Grateful there was no injures to the boat we were towing but one quick look I could see that they were also in shock.

When I arrived on land I was very grateful and was relieved I was no longer on the boat. From what I saw everyone had that feeling!  I felt powerless due to the fact I saw my daughter crying and some of her friends.  I felt sad that we had this experience.  What I noticed within myself is that I could not form a sentence.  I did this for a few days.  Fear, and anger was my best friend.  It was hard to comprehend what had happened.

Several of us went to the hospital and everything was okay.  What kept going through my mind was how precious life is and it could be gone in an instant!  I also realized none of us were meant to die.

On the way back to my Lake House I was scared that we were going to get in a car accident and my daughter’s felt like that too.  When I arrived back to the house we were humbled, frightened and grateful for this experience.   It’s been 6 months and yesterday I finally (6 months later)  I went to the Lake House and I was glad I did cuz I cried and cried the fears and emotions of what had happened came barreling in.  I had no idea of the amount of fear I carried around with me for 6 months.  that I had that was crippling me until I came face to fa

 

 

What’s The Rush?

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This time of year can be overwhelming ~ family gatherings, parties, work, consumerism, I think you know what I mean.  But does it need to be like this?  I believe we do not need to rush.  For example, New Years Eve is a week away and most people are already focusing on that day.  Food for Thought:  When you find yourself thinking about the future bring yourself back to the moment over and over again.  Here are a few things which have helped me~

1.  Whatever is swimming around in your head put it down on paper.  If you think it, Ink it!

2.  Notice your thoughts and realize they are just thoughts passing through your mind, don’t try to change them or discard them.

3.  Laugh at yourself and others.

4.  Time is an illusion ~ whatever you are doing is what your meant to be doing.  It is not right or wrong.

5.  99% of the time your thoughts do not come to fruition.

6.  Remind yourself that your health and well-being come first and nothing is thatimportant to get bent out of shape about.

7.  Stop, slow down and breathe

8.  Ask yourself “Why am I rushing.”

9.  Let go of the outcome.

None of us has it down pat and by golly I am glad about this.

Why not enjoy the moment no matter what is happening.  There is no right or wrong, it is happening the way that it is so we might as well make it our friend.    I think I rather be floundering than having all my ducks in a row!   The planet will not blow up or your favorite grocery store will not burn down.  FYI:  Walking to the grocery store is just as important as walking to the gym or walking o a party.  Every moment of our lives is important no matter what it is we are doing, even if that means scrubbing the floor.   There is no rush and there is no getting anywhere .  You are already meant to be where you are!

Acceptance is the Key to Forgiveness

When we accept ourselves no matter what grievance we hold against ourselves forgiveness  happens.  Forgiveness includes perceived past wrongdoings or anything we hold ourselves hostage to.  I have found this has been the biggest offering I have given myself.  When I accept blame and shame drops away.  Love enters this space.    Maybe this is the kingdom of heaven.  Stories we tell ourselves are no longer relevant.  Inner peace and harmony is restored and life does not seem difficult.  IMG_2343.JPG

Many words can describe acceptance.  Allowing, being with what is, loving what arises, appreciation and letting go.  It may also include to stop, slow down and breathe.  This will bring you in the present moment and you may be surprised what may arise.  Maybe it is an emotion that you distracted yourself from feeling.  If we all took the time to breathe, relax and allow just imagine what kind of world we would have.

It Takes Courage To Become Your Own Mother

It takes courage to support yourself.  The key is not to look outside yourself for approval and acceptance.  We often look to others for are answers.  Maybe our Mom, Dad, friends and family.  I believe old tapes are running in are heads about how to be, what to do, we don’t deserve this, what will so and so think…  well, the hell with that!  I went to school to become a nurse 15 years ago and mainly I did it to prove to myself I could do this curriculum.  Another reason I did it was because I was guaranteed a job.  What I always wanted to do from a young child is write.  I’m 51 so why not begin now!

Supporting yourself means getting encouragement from those who have your back.  THis includes people who are honest with you, non-judgemental and love and accept you for who you are.  One could say they see your light, they see your brillance and they have walked the road of loving and accepting all of who they are.  Often are family are not that source  probably due to the fact they do not love and accept themselves.  More importantly support starts with us.  Discernment has been a key factor in my relationship to “yes” and “no” questions.

Trust is a must!  We must, we must trust!  What does that mean? Try it out and you shall see.   It’s like being your best friend and loving every emotion, every thought, accepting one’s doubts, embracing your fear, sadness, anger, guilt and shame.  This is part of our humanity and a wise friend once told me this is the doorway to our divinity.   When we start to do this we become “uncovered” and our light comes flooding in.   The brilliant child is revealed.

Posted on April 29, 2014 by Anne Lamantia