Empaths vs. Narcissists

I have been carrying this heavy weight on my chest for I don’t know how long.  I am 55 and I have come to the conclusion that I am an empath.  People who are empathetic feel and sometimes carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.  I have also taken responsibility for everyone else’s needs before my own.  I have identified that it is my fault when in fact I’m not seeing what is right in front of me or using my intuition.

Why is it difficult for me to use my intuition?  Because I doubt ~ I always give people the benefit of the doubt and always give them excuses for their behavior.  I also want to feel loved.   I’ve been doing this all of my life and it is time to do things differently.

You may be asking What is a Narcissist?  There is varying degrees of narcissism.  Their is a lot of information about this topic if you were to google search it. I have become curious surrounding this topic due to the fact that I noticed I did not have good boundaries in relationships.  I also noticed I was always people pleasing and wanted to learn about this dynamic.

What I have come to learn about narcissistic behavior:  It’s all about them and what benefits them.  They tend to be a bully.    You lose yourself or your own identity.  Lying and manipulation to get their way.  Don’t take responsibility for their actions and tend to blame others.  Not honoring others and their own space.  Leave a conversation second guessing yourself.  Not honoring of your emotional needs.

Empathetic people tend to see the good in others forgetting to see what is right in front of them.  Empathetic people want peace and can give their power away or think that the other party knows more than they do.  They meet other peoples needs before their own.  Empaths usually do not have good boundaries and try to make things work when they won’t.  Empaths can feel what other’s are feeling and can lose objectivity.

What Empath’s need to do to strengthen themselves:

  1.  Set boundaries.
  2.  Limit your time spent around them or walk away.
  3.  Say “No” when it is safer to say “Yes”.
  4.  Care for your hurt before their hurt.
  5.  Express yourself in a safe environment.
  6.  Get in touch with nature or be with animals
  7.  Listen to music
  8. Honor your sensitivity and well-being
  9.  Love yourself

 

“Self Honesty” requires courage!

Self Honesty is decisive action.  It is ferociousness!  It is putting energy into motion.   It is the best decision I have ever made for myself due to the fact I have been a “people pleaser” my entire life.  It involves being honest with relationships, communication, eating, and doing what is right and necessary for your life.  It is saying “no” when you want to say “yes” for the sake of not creating conflict and saying “Yes” to situations and things that you know serve your well-being.  I have found when I am caught in the scrutiny of making a decision I just don’t make one.  Don’t do things for “acceptance” sake.

Self Honesty builds self-esteem and self-worth.  It requires courage and determination.  At least that is what is on my list of ingredients.  Don’t beat yourself up because you set up “boundaries” in your relationships, especially when it comes to family members.  I believe people will always respect you and if they don’t than it is their problem not yours.  It’s like spring cleaning maybe you need to “spring clean” your friends.  Keep the ones who honor, respect and accept you for who you are.  Doing this for yourself is an act of “kindness” and love.

Be your own best friend, it does not matter what “others” think, it only matters what you believe and think.  What “lights” you up and what makes your heart “sing”.  So go now and show the world what your made of… they have been waiting for you.

How I changed through Vibrational Transformation

What is Transformation Vibration?  A wise person once said (Panache Desai)
“when you change your energy you change your life.”  He refers to himself as a vibrational catalyst.

I have had the privilege to work with him over the course of the past 5 years.  He has helped me transform my “dense” or heavy energy.  This is done through the process of embracing your sadness, fear and anger.  We are taught from an early age on that it is not Okay to feel our feelings.   When we suppress these emotions we literally feel “weighed” down.

When I am in Panaches presence my supppressed feelings rise to the surface and past memories surface and hence my feelings come to life.  such as anger, sadness, pain etc.  I have learned so much about myself over this 5 year period.  This has not been easy by any means….

BENEFITS: 1. Opening my heart (I had no idea I had a closed heart until I met Panache).  2. Being honest with myself. 3.  Overcoming adversity. 4. Less afraid of being judged. 5. Speaking and standing up for myself. 6. Embracing life and much more.

When vibrational transformation happens you get to the covered spaces within you and the love and light do it’s work on your behalf.  It opens up dark corners and the light shines forth. I have noticed that I  have abandoned myself for the sake of putting other people before my own needs.  I had to learn to pull myself in to connect to myself instead of the outside world.  More or less I was giving my power away.  I had to look at “my so called flaws.”

To this day I still don’t like my anger, resentments, jealousy but I am discovering that this is part of our human nature and when we can learn to embrace this instead of “negating” it energy opens up for us in a whole new way.   Love is inclusive ~ the good, bad and ugly.  Remember this next time when you may perceive a not so nice feeling arise!  Don’t settle and don’t sell yourself short.

Why I started to blog?

I started to Blog in 2011.  I wanted to share inspiration and information with others.  Most of my blog posts started out about my personal journey.  Maybe one would call it Self-help.  I would like to say it was a good way to give myself my own advice and maybe this would call to someone else’s heart.  Writing has always been cathartic for me and it is a great way to gain clarity in my own life.  Believe it or not I still feel hesitant when I write and all kinds of “doubt” seep in but I continue to do it anyway!  I can be my own worst critic.

I expanded my blogging with different subjects recently..  The subjects include nutrition, travel, self-help, inspiration, healing modalities, essential oils and health.   I am not an expert but I love to share what has helped me on my journey.  A key ingredient has been commitment, consistency and repetition.  I am also a Yoga instructor and RN.  I would be interested to know what subject you would like to know more about.  Please go to my contact page on my website at http://www.annelamantia.com and leave me a message if your interested.

I also have some good resources if you are interested in starting a blog.  I like to keep my posts to 300 words or less.  I like to keep it simple.  I use social media and other platforms to share information and I would like to expand even more.

 

How a “Boating” accident impacted my family!

I was in an boating accident on the weekend of July 4th, 2017.  In my wildest dreams I never thought this would happen to me, worse yet my entire family (except my son).  My children are in their 20’s.  Intuition is powerful ~ When I stepped on the boat I had a feeling to not go on the boat ride but my stubbornness overrode this feeling.

We came upon a boat that needed towing.   I immediately said “yes” which is not like me.  I sat at the tip of the boat with 2 of Megan’s (my daughter) friends.  We threw a line to the boat and it was probably 3 minutes into the tow when myself and the 2 other gals had a premonition something was about to happen!  …and out of the blue “my husband says they are going to hit us.”  I looked up and saw a boat headed straight towards us.  No time to think or do anything.  They hit the right side of our boat where my husband was driving and ripped out the right side of our boat.  Thankfully we all survived.

We stood there in disarray for a moment and it was completely quite.  The windshield on the right and left side of the boat was shattered in very small pieces and my thought was.  .. oh know someone died! I began to panic as I saw blood on myself and some of the others.  My eyes were open but I did not want to see.   I did a head check and everyone was accounted for.    I saw Megan’s friend crying and she wanted to get out of the boat.  Yep, I felt responsible for everyone!  Always a mother!  I was scared due to the fact I did not know if someone got injured very badly.  Everyone was scared, in shock and crying, even my husband who never shows his feelings.  I was confused because the boat that hit us stayed at bay and did not even offer to help.  Eventually someone did come to help and got the girls who were crying off the boat and towed us into land.  Grateful there was no injures to the boat we were towing but one quick look I could see that they were also in shock.

When I arrived on land I was very grateful and was relieved I was no longer on the boat. From what I saw everyone had that feeling!  I felt powerless due to the fact I saw my daughter crying and some of her friends.  I felt sad that we had this experience.  What I noticed within myself is that I could not form a sentence.  I did this for a few days.  Fear, and anger was my best friend.  It was hard to comprehend what had happened.

Several of us went to the hospital and everything was okay.  What kept going through my mind was how precious life is and it could be gone in an instant!  I also realized none of us were meant to die.

On the way back to my Lake House I was scared that we were going to get in a car accident and my daughter’s felt like that too.  When I arrived back to the house we were humbled, frightened and grateful for this experience.   It’s been 6 months and yesterday I finally (6 months later)  I went to the Lake House and I was glad I did cuz I cried and cried the fears and emotions of what had happened came barreling in.  I had no idea of the amount of fear I carried around with me for 6 months.  that I had that was crippling me until I came face to fa

 

 

Benefits of Yoga Nidra

What is Yoga Nidra?  It is a technique which places your attention on different  parts of the body for relaxation.  The idea is to get out of your head and come into the awareness of  body sensations.  I became a Yoga Instructor in 2008 and this is what I learned ~ When I work with students I have them lie on the floor and use props to support there back.  I guide them to focus on various parts of the body for 15- 20 minutes.  Yoga Nidra can be used for shorter periods or longer periods.   I have been a student and teacher of this technique and the benefits I reaped were;

  1.  Calming the mind
  2.  Observing my thoughts
  3.  relaxation of my muscles
  4.  Flowing with life instead of pushing against life
  5.  Expansion of breath
  6.  Calmer Digestive system
  7.  Headaches subsided
  8.  Problem solving:  Awareness
  9.  Getting in touch with that deeper part of myself
  10.   Flow of prana
  11.  Body sharing with me of how to “eat” better
  12.  Put me in touch with my emotions and vulnerability

more benefits…

  1.  Calming the nervous system
  2.  Lenghtening the spine
  3.  Relaxation of the internal organs
  4.  Letting go and softening
  5.  And many other benefits

This is a great practice if you are looking for ways to deal with stress and a great way to to get out of your own way so new ideas can flow into your awareness.

Please contact me if you are wanting to learn more about Yoga Nidra at annelamantia@verizon.net

What’s The Rush?

IMG_5817

This time of year can be overwhelming ~ family gatherings, parties, work, consumerism, I think you know what I mean.  But does it need to be like this?  I believe we do not need to rush.  For example, New Years Eve is a week away and most people are already focusing on that day.  Food for Thought:  When you find yourself thinking about the future bring yourself back to the moment over and over again.  Here are a few things which have helped me~

1.  Whatever is swimming around in your head put it down on paper.  If you think it, Ink it!

2.  Notice your thoughts and realize they are just thoughts passing through your mind, don’t try to change them or discard them.

3.  Laugh at yourself and others.

4.  Time is an illusion ~ whatever you are doing is what your meant to be doing.  It is not right or wrong.

5.  99% of the time your thoughts do not come to fruition.

6.  Remind yourself that your health and well-being come first and nothing is thatimportant to get bent out of shape about.

7.  Stop, slow down and breathe

8.  Ask yourself “Why am I rushing.”

9.  Let go of the outcome.

None of us has it down pat and by golly I am glad about this.

Why not enjoy the moment no matter what is happening.  There is no right or wrong, it is happening the way that it is so we might as well make it our friend.    I think I rather be floundering than having all my ducks in a row!   The planet will not blow up or your favorite grocery store will not burn down.  FYI:  Walking to the grocery store is just as important as walking to the gym or walking o a party.  Every moment of our lives is important no matter what it is we are doing, even if that means scrubbing the floor.   There is no rush and there is no getting anywhere .  You are already meant to be where you are!

13 Steps to Empowerment

This is my empowerment steps.  I thought maybe writing about it would be most beneficial.  Anne’s Yoga sutra. hehe

1.  Notice the resistance

2.  Stray away from fixing, healing.  Just Be

3.  Move forward and trust everything is working out perfectly and there is a divine intelligence

4.  Everyone is on our side.  Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

5.  Gently move forward and we are more alike than different.

6.  See the good or “god” in everyone we meet.

7.  When you or I feel “triggered”  meet myself, yourself with gentle loving compassion.  Tap into intuition.  True intuition has no emotional charge.

8.  Know that everything you are experiencing is “okay”.

9.  Keep a journal for your progress. Look at it every several months to remind yourself of how far you have come.

10.  When you are faced with pain in the body.  Know there is an answer.  Help comes in unimaginable ways ~ health profession, a conversation you overheard, friends, family or in a dream.    Care for the body with whatever remedy is needed.

11.  Lessen your “seriousness”.  Laugh even if it is fake.  Laughing is contagious and it is a healing balm not only for yourself but those around you.

12.  Notice the “lies” we can tell ourselves.

13.  Stray away from drama.

A Gateway to a New Expression: Self Love….

IMG_5467I have always been under the belief that “self love” is selfish…this is not true!   I was brought up in a family of 7 which included my parents and I tended to the younger siblings quite often as my Mom always did for everyone else but not herself.  I am sure this contributed to my belief system  of putting  yourself first is selfish.  I also was under the influence of the church that it was better to give than receive and I felt quilty when I did receive.  Most of my life I would seemingly  put other peoples needs before mine.  I  believe the resentment I have felt was because I didn’t nuture myself, but I was an expert at nurturing others.  After all it is much easier to tend to others than yourself!
I lean into what “lights me up” instead of what brings me down when I make a decision.  I have learned and continue to learn to surrender.  I have no control of how things are going to turn out but I do have control of how I will respond.  I am learning to say “No” and not giving my power away to outside sources.  Prioritizing my schedule has been essential to my growth.  At this moment I believe my purpose is to know that everything is possible and we live in an abundant universe AND it “lights me up” when I witness other people doing this!  My advice is… do for yourself first and everything will fall into place, listen to your own voice and sway from outside distractions, do something everyday that nutures your soul,  patterns can be broken and go after  your dreams…after all isn’t that why we are here!

How to Bring Love to the Pain Body

I have resisted “what is” all of my life thinking what I had experienced was bad or “ugly”.  This only created shame, doubt, guilt and pain.  Until one day I woke up and realized everything I had been resisting was a message or my guidance.  One would never think guidance would come in this form.  I was keeping self love at a distance wishing it would  go away.

I decided to go within and look at those parts I deemed unworthy or neglected.   I discovered my incessant negative self-talk, and ongoing stories of the past.  This can be destructive.  I was creating unnessary pain in my life in which I would call the “pain body.”   This layer of pain is very much alive but has softened over time.  What helped me soften the pain was naming the thoughts that arose, i.e. past, story , lies etc.   I certainly was not at a point of loving what arises but naming these part of myself was an act of self-love.  Recognizing it for what it was helped me to lighten up and let go.

The Emotional Body plays a huge part of the “pain body.”  I discovered when the emotional body is neglected depression and hopelessness seeps in.  Sharing my feelings was not a part of my family structure.   I was taught to move forward and keep my mouth shut.  As a result I formed a pattern of putting other peoples needs ahead of my own.   This pattern can be changed!

What I discovered about the Emotional Body:

Go within and see what is there.  ie.  sadness, fear, shame, neglect, anger.  Allow, accept and feel into it.  You won’t die.  You will open up to parts of yourself you have put aside for years.  Give yourself permission to experience this.  Deal with what is right in front of you.  I was yearning for self – love, gratitude, presence and acceptance but the only way i could do this was to go within and give to myself first.