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I am going to start this conversation with a testimony.  It begins with Eugene Carns who is my father.  He is 79 years old and was diagnosed with heart disease when he was in his early 30’s.  He had a heart attack.  He was very thin and smoked cigarettes and drank Genesee beer.  He sought the advice of his Dr. and was given a diet to adhere to.  It included skim milk, magarine and lean meat.  Yep, I remember drinking skim milk due to the fact it tasted like water.  Oh yeah I forgot to mention my grandmother had artheriosclerosis.  I don’t know alot about her circumstances.  As a child I never understood why he would have heart disease at such a young age and being as thin as he was.   Moving forward ~ 10 years later (age 40) he had another one.  He had awoken in the middle of the night with indigestion that would not go away.  The end result ~ Open Heart Surgery.  When he arrived home he looked 20 years older and Mom began balling her eyes out.  I knew he was going to be fine but I was afraid.  My Aunt Mary Pat who was taking care of me and my 4 siblings was afraid too.   Again, he needed to adhere to diet and exercise.  He slept on the second floor and was told not to climb stairs.  I remember he would never lift anything heavy (Dr’s orders).  I had  to haul wood from outside and up a flight of stairs into the second floor!  Luckily there was 5 of us for this hard labor.  He healed rapidly and was back to his old self.  What went through my mind was: ” I don’t understand why he has this disease he is so skinny.”  I did understand one thing ~ he had a blockage in his vessels which impeded his blood flow.  I never understood how diet was related due to the fact he was a very thin man.  When I look back at all of this I can see how afraid he was of dying.  He always spoke about it and seemed cautious with life to venture out and try new things.  Ten years later he had open-heart-surgery once again.  Same protocol as far as diet and exercise.  He was always mindful of what he was suppose to eat or not eat.  He did cheat with bacon.  He drank alot but did not smoke cigarettes since he was 30.  Fast Forward;  since than he has had another heart attack and stents put in and struggles with his body temperature and shortness of breath.  In the past he has been on a beta blocker and has gone off of it due to the fact he was barely alive while taking it.  Side effects are atrocious!

My observation;

I have always questioned what has caused his narrowing of his vessels and blockages.  We all know it does not help to be type A personality.  On a scale of 1-10 I would rate my Dad a 7 maybe a 8.   What I do know about my Dad is I rarely saw him cry and he seemed angry and sad alot.  He also was very controlling.  It makes sense to me when we do not allow are feelings to flow we constrict and become tight and are vessels do the same.  According to Panache Desai emotions are energy in motion and when they do not flow they get stuck in the body and this creates density.  I read a study once and it said when we are stressed are DNA tightens up and when we are calm it relaxes.

Helpful hints:  Breathe and relax.  Let go of the outcome of situations and let go of control.  Let go and let God.  Feel your fear, anger and sadness.  In the past it was easy for me to step aside from my feelings labeling them bad or wrong.  A dear “old” friend reminded me that these feeling were the doorway to my humanity.  Thanks to this “dear” friend of mine I feel free, alive and learning everyday in every way to love who I am.

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Anne Lamantia