How To Keep The Heart Open!

Why Do We Close our Hearts?

I can only speak from direct experience.  First I would say that we are not brought up with the tools to keep an open heart.  It is not something my parents taught me or I was taught in school.  I’ve heard many times just open your heart ~ Well what the heck does that mean?   At that point I became curious and I began noticing what I noticed.   I noticed I would nIMG_0155-300x200ot feel my emotions ~ for example my anger, sadness or grief, and I felt ill-equipped.  I began to notice there was this heaviness I accumulated in my body and I believe it was because I did not process my own pain.  As time went on I began to get in touch with my anger, sadness, hurt and fear.  As I began to get in touch with these aspects I began to feel lighter and to my amazement less depressed.   Oh here is another big one for me!  I also noticed when I interacted with others I was too involved with their stories.  Over the last 5 years I have been willing to acknowledge my feelings and as I do I unravel.

How to open your heart!

1.  It has taken a lot of courage and trust to do this.   A willingness to open to life and feel.     It takes time and patience and a willingness to meet life from a brand new platform.  It takes baby steps to put something new into motion.  We all have our patterns so be gentle with the self.

2.  If you have heard of that saying it takes a village to bring up a child I believe there is a lot of truth to that.  Find support, people who are honest and who will empower you.  Don’t take No for an answer.   We are more alike than different.  As mother Theresa says “do good anyways.”

3.  I believe authenticity is vital to our well=being.  It is so easy to get caught in societal roles and responsibility. when we are missing the point of just being ourselves.

4.  Find something in your life to be grateful for.  Make a list everyday.  It takes time to change patterns.

5.  Love on your pets!

6.  Do good for someone in need!

7.  Prioritze yourself.  Spend an hour every day to nuture your spirit.

8.  Walk away from people who drag you down.

9.  If it does not feel good do not do it.  The same goes for food choices.

10.  Get out in nature.

11.  Never go to bed angry.

12.  Do more listening than talking.

13.  Listen to your intuition.

14.  Say I am sorry and as Mother Theresa has said, “forgive them anyway!”

Posted on November 1, 2015 by Anne Lamantia

The Power of Letting Go

Are you a person who turns and faces their fears or do you run away, hide or contract?  I am/was one of those individuals who contracts and hides in the face of fear.  Why?  I am not sure other than maybe  I was taught to do this.  It may be that I was afraid to look at my fear as if a ugly monster was going to be uncovered.

A wise person once told me that in the animal kingdom it is their nature to shake off fear.  I thought that this was a good analogy.  It made me look at areas in my life where I am holding onto fear. I realized I was not letting go and trying to control the outcome.  The outcome of the way people are supposed to show up, the outcome of my career, and the list goes on and on.  I was “struggling”  against things instead of allowing. I was exhausted and paralyzed from moving forward. I literally felt crippled.  Realistically I have no control over the outcome anyways.  Everything is unfolding in the way it needs to.  More and more I am moving with the flow of life and I have found this liberating.

How did I get myself to let go and move forward?  By facing my fear head on and allowing myself to feel the feelings associated with it.  This included past events that I found unforgivable, recognizing the voice in my head is not real, and feeling the anger and sadness which I labeled as wrong or bad.  I have learned and still am learning to love these emotions.  As a wise person once told me “Energy is just energy in motion.”

Posted on April 11, 2015 by Anne Lamantia

It Takes Courage To Become Your Own Mother

It takes courage to support yourself.  The key is not to look outside yourself for approval and acceptance.  We often look to others for are answers.  Maybe our Mom, Dad, friends and family.  I believe old tapes are running in are heads about how to be, what to do, we don’t deserve this, what will so and so think…  well, the hell with that!  I went to school to become a nurse 15 years ago and mainly I did it to prove to myself I could do this curriculum.  Another reason I did it was because I was guaranteed a job.  What I always wanted to do from a young child is write.  I’m 51 so why not begin now!

Supporting yourself means getting encouragement from those who have your back.  THis includes people who are honest with you, non-judgemental and love and accept you for who you are.  One could say they see your light, they see your brillance and they have walked the road of loving and accepting all of who they are.  Often are family are not that source  probably due to the fact they do not love and accept themselves.  More importantly support starts with us.  Discernment has been a key factor in my relationship to “yes” and “no” questions.

Trust is a must!  We must, we must trust!  What does that mean? Try it out and you shall see.   It’s like being your best friend and loving every emotion, every thought, accepting one’s doubts, embracing your fear, sadness, anger, guilt and shame.  This is part of our humanity and a wise friend once told me this is the doorway to our divinity.   When we start to do this we become “uncovered” and our light comes flooding in.   The brilliant child is revealed.

Posted on April 29, 2014 by Anne Lamantia

12 Steps to Authentic Living

First step;  Begin now, not where you were yesterday or the day before or 20 years ago.  It does not matter what went down in your life.  Your perceived wrong doings do not matter.  What matters is you showed up and you are ready to begin!  So let’s begin.

Second step:  Even if you believe you cannot do it, it’s okay because you can.  I believe in you and the divine believes in you and 7.2 million people in this universe believe in you.

Third step:  Take this moment and stop what you are doing.  Slow down, and notice your breathe.  Your breathe is a constant reminder of your infinity.  It is the only thing I know of besides dying that we have no control over.  It happens all on it’s own.  It is amazing to me how miraculous our bodies are.  Our systems know what to do automatically.

Fourth step:  You have everything inside of you right now – in this moment to come into the fullness of who you are.  Yes, you do my friend.   And if something is in the way of you coming into your fullness —- go to the next step.

Fifth step:  If you cannot come into the fullness of who you are, imagine you can.  Jesus said it only takes a mustard seed to accomplish great things. Begin now!

Sixth step:  Get out of your comfort zone.  Be courageous, only you know what it takes to take the next step.  Even if it is a baby step, it’s okay…  Rome was not built in a day.

Seventh step:  Seek Support.  I have found the people who have supported me held me accountable and pointed me in the right direction to find my own truth and accepted me without judgement, were honest with me and empowered me to love and accept myself.

Eighth step:  Take responsibility for your own life.  Let go of should, woulda, coulda.  Look inside for your own answers.  Notice when you are giving your power away to others.  Trust and use your intution.  Follow your heart not your head (that only gets you into trouble).!!!!

Ninth step:  You are your own master, your own guru.  What is it you have been wanting to do but you are not out of fear of hurting others feelings or letting them down.  The only person you can let down is yourself.

Tenth step:  Embrace all of your feelings in any given moment.  Anger, fear, depression, sadness, guilt.  Feel it all.  It is all of the human experience.  A wise friend of mine once told me that unattended anger turns into rage and he also told me if we don’t allow ourselves to emote than it becomes density in the physical.

Eleventh step;  Know that everything is unfolding in your life the way it needs to.  There is no wrong turns, only bumps along the road.

Twelfth step:  Life will get better.  I promise.

Posted on August 21, 2013 by Anne Lamantia